the only way this post is going to make sense is if you read this post first.
not kidding. go read that post. it’s about a message Joy had written to me and Diana in regards to the possibility of creating a twins mom blog that “isn’t all Double Blessings, and shit.”
so anyway, we’re sorta putting it all out on the table in this email thread. how real is real? how much of our true selves are we willing to put out there? exactly how honest will we be?
so i figured, fuck it, it’s my turn to share a little bit about myself.
cheers to keeping it real.
short version:
im not jewish.
im a racist, sexist, homophobe who hates grammar – not in that order. even though im a puerto rican married to an white Italian/Jew, im divorced from an Irish Catholic and my kids are all mutts. my mother is gay but she sucks, i was gay for three days – okay, more. it was awesome. i dated blacks for years so i know a few. yes it’s all true. my husb is an asshole and women can be shitty which is why i dont have women friends. you guys will remain at arms length cause i trust no one with a vagina. i didnt want a girl and im still trying to get over that even though now im madly in love with her. my twins are jewish but my teenager hasnt chosen yet. i only believe in god when i need something. like, when i dont want to wait an hour for a parking space, i pray to the parking god. i know i eventually need to learn something about jewish tradtions, but for now all i know is that we arent allowed to eat pork, but we can watch Olivia on Noggin because pig cartoon characters apparently dont qualify as filth (i asked just in case). i have a vision board ala The Secret but all i have on it are coupons, a calendar and a to do list. we are mad poor city folk living in a ghetto that is gentrifying. i was pissed off my entire pregnancy that i had twins because im old. and now im pissed off that i hit enter without friggin spellchecking or seeing if i made mistakes.
this is what happens when the babies dont sleep at the same time.
*sigh*
btw, did i tell you that im the co-founder of an Inwood Babysitting Co-op?
you can trust me with your babies. i swear. well, i won’t swear in front of them. i sing ABCs and Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star too.
Did you know they were the same melody?
after extensive googling sessions i’ve learned that it is not uncommon to feel some depression after weaning from breastfeeding.
and suddenly it all makes sense.
i breastfed the twins exclusively for 3 months.
from 3-6 months i was breastfeeding mainly at night (6-8 bf sessions between 11pm – 7am) and was offering breast for pacifying/snacking during the day.
the day the twins turned 6 months, a saturday, we introduced solid foods. day one and two with just breakfast and on the third day we added a late lunch. eating solid foods meant the babies were sleeping longer through the night, which in turn lead to two full nights of me not breastfeeding.
im telling you, by the 5th day of solid foods, i was laying on the floor curled up in the fetal position, watching them at eye-level practice turning over. i looked at the ceiling and said to myself, “something is not right.” i remember telling Gillian it was like i had hit a brick wall. the feelings of sadness and despair hit me so hard and suddenly, that i was actually shocked and confused until i asked her about it – she confirmed, there is a chance that postpartum depression can occur while weaning.
i might be addicted to breastfeeding, i tweeted. there’s this hormone shift that happens when im nursing them – i feel so much love, almost elation – it’s a high, for sure. i feel my milk let down and there is this amazing peace that comes over me and my child. i think about how i carried them both for almost a year, how i grew them. i caress their hair, face, skin. it’s our quiet time to bond, each of them taking their turns. i bitched about not sleeping, but i would wake them if they slept too long and my breasts were full.
addictions do that to you. you want more and more and more.
i wish i could bottle up those feelings during breastfeeding and snort it when i need a jumpstart.
but alas, we are done.
while Gabriel has been fine without nursing the last two weeks (he has been over it for a while now – i have been tricking him at night while he was sleepy, my jonsing was so hard), my little Stella has had a much harder time with The Wean. in fact, since birth both of them were paci champs – taking to their avent paci’s like pros, which helped me tremendously when the dual crying sessions were in full force. but since i stopped breastfeeding, she won’t take the paci at all. she only wants to paci on me, and i can’t help but to give it to her. i dont encourage it like i did early on, but i definitely don’t say no when she roots for me.
i havent breastfed at all in the last three full days. and while im still a bit down in the dumps about it, im feeling much better than i have been since my last post. so perhaps it wasnt a case of PPD – maybe my baby blues were only weaning related? i don’t know. i guess time will tell…
if you think you might be suffering from postpartum depression, you are currently breastfeeding and don’t want to give it up just yet, here is an excellent post i read over on www.breastfeedingmomsunite.com called
I lied to My Shrink… and Other Hazards of Breastfeeding
it’s an excellent read. pass it on.
and wondering who in our little neighborhood might hold it against me.
fear is for pussy ass bitches, i suppose.
if you’ve read my saidy diary over the years, you know that i was diagnosed in 2000 with PMDD, which is why i started blogging to begin with. i needed an outlet, an anonymous place to vent. shit i wouldnt in a million years tell my family, my friends or my neighbors. since then, i’ve managed pretty well with and without meds, and i cant tell you how wonderful it was to not have a single PMS symptom during the entire pregnancy. like heaven, for me AND my husband. being pre-menopausal was bad enough, but it was that awesome little hyperovulation epi that brought my babies into this world, and well
sometimes being a woman with all these hormonal issues sucks.
but this post partum depression, this has been a whole lot worse than any of that.
and anyone who has had PPD knows why im hesitant to blog about it.
i cant even tell you how much i *swoon* over Inwood’s own Chris & Keith at onemonkeyshow. they have posted pictures from the National Equality March and i can’t even tell you… you just need to go over and see for yourself. simply amazing.
keith & chris
On a personal note:
I call us “The Husbands” – yet Keith and I have a very tenuous legal union. A Civil Union in New Jersey is nothing – it’s separate and unequal. Our Civil Union is not even recognized by other states that recognize gay marriage – because it isn’t marriage. But we wanted a union, and this was the best that was available to us at the time. But now we want to be married – fully. How is it possible in this day and age, and in this great country, that the two of us are not equal citizens? How is it that I pay just as many taxes, obey just as many laws, vote just as many times as my straight counter-parts and yet I’m not allowed to have the same rights? How is it that MY LOVE IS LESS THAN SOMEONE ELSE’S? How dare anyone judge me based on their faith? How dare a government that was created to work for the people, work against them?
I am marching on Sunday because I love Keith with every ounce of who I am. I am marching on Sunday because I deserve the right to have the same rights as everyone else in this country. I am marching on Sunday because we deserve to be married. I am marching on Sunday because there are generations behind me that might not have to march if I do. So come join us on Sunday if you can. If you can’t, sign up with the march in support of those of us that are going to be there. Sign up and attach your name to the Civil Rights battle of this generation. Stand up with me and shout until your hoarse. Stand up with me and DEMAND equal rights for everyone.
go read their blog – really. RSS it, the whole nine.
so, yeah. we’ve been battling mice for a while now.
mostly in our kitchen, but i found a dropping in the living room, where my babies play on the floor – and i can’t even tell you how freaked out i was for the few hours before our rat zapper fried that little fucker.
mice in the park – expected. mice in the home – NOT OKAY.
but now im recognizing a pattern: Spring and Fall.
that’s when we seem to have them. otherwise we are totally clear.
why the surprise when i spotted droppings the other day, i have no idea.
but you don’t understand, i become obsessed. like a mad woman, determined to find where minxminnie is hanging out. and god forbid she tries to procreate.
not here, sweetheart. keep it moving.
and death threats to anyone who even thinks about dropping a random crumb.
chew with your mouth closed, damn.
so of course as soon as it gets cold, we have a kill. yes, this is unnerving, because i’ll keep searching for the next month or so, but comforted in knowing this thing will work when we are sleeping. up to 30 kills before you need to change the battery.
buy it, and have it overnighted.
those suckers won’t know what’s coming.
if you follow me on twitter, you know i have had some concerns about the pricing of our newest studio, Bread & Yoga. our bloggy friend, zuzupetals, replied that their pricing is in line with other studios in Northern Manhattan, but still, I was reminded by a friend that a studio in Union Square only charges $8 a class…
granted, people have got to live. and the owner has completely gutted their space, including soundproofing and brand new floors. perhaps i was being a bit unfair in my initial assessment without knowing all the facts first.
so when i received an email in my inbox asking if i would post a note up letting everyone know about their Open House weekend, featuring free classes all day Saturday and Sunday – well, you know me – i was on the fence. but im not going to turn down an opportunity to share with you anything free happening in our ‘hood.
though my first thought was – these classes are too expensive for me to enjoy, so how can i post about something i can’t even afford (between paying a babysitter for two infants and then the class, i’d be out $60 bucks to walk around the corner – and well, hell, that’s DIAPER MONEY.)
so my question to the owner was this:
Will [Bread & Yoga] be doing community classes going forward, or just during Grand Opening festivities? Inwood Peace Yoga used to have free yoga on Tuesdays in the park all spring/summer long, as well as “pay what you can” classes once a week, and “karma yoga,” which meant if you donated a few hours time helping out with administrative or clean up duties, you would earn a free class of your choosing in exchange – if I remember correctly.
my point was, Inwood’s median income is only 30 grand a year. that means most of this community, our family included, would not be able to enjoy these classes because of the price point. the owner came back with a reply i was very happy with, and with her permission i am reprinting it in full:
We actually already offer a community class on the schedule…. it is every Wednesday at noon and it is by donation… all proceeds go to charity or a local cause. We did not offer free classes at the park during the summer because we were not open yet but we certainly intend to do it next summer.It’s been a crazy summer for me but I’m really happy with the results of all the work we put into our space. I hope you can come by over the open house weekend to check the space out and try a class.
In terms of Karma yoga, I am working with a few folks already that reached out to me as soon as they heard about the studio opening. They are putting a few hours of desk work in, in exchange for unlimited yoga classes.
It is really an honor for me to be bringing a new yoga studio to our neighborhood. It was very sad to see Inwood Peace go. That was my yoga spot too and I also used to sub classes there. But I am committed to creating a space where the whole Inwood community can gather again… not just for yoga, but a place where families can get together, share life and support each other. This is my community and I feel very strongly about doing everything I can, as a resident and now a small business owner, to help improve our quality of life and health.
Please feel free to call or email anytime with questions about the studio.
Thanks so much and I look forward to meeting you soon.
Best,
Marcela XavierFounder/Director – Bread and Yoga646 – 645 4112
you should note that Bread & Yoga’s instructors are all members of our Inwood and Washington Heights communities – which warms my heart to no end. so, go to Bread & Yoga this weekend, take a free class, congratulate Marcela and wish her much success. don’t forget to take advantage of their special packages before they end.
no matter what, the most important thing for me is community, and we need support our friends and neighbors in all of their endeavors.
maybe we will see you there… the potluck on Saturday night sounds like lots of fun!
remember the pager back in the early 90’s?
you would carry around this little black box in your pocket or clipped to the waistband of your stonewashed Gap jeans, and someone would “page” you, and you’d have to find a pay phone that wouldnt eat up your dimes , just so you could call your drug dealer back, because come on, really, who else would be calling you? your mother?
well, listen up people: email is going the way of the pager.
in a year or two, email will be considered old skool, obsolete.
if you care anything about technology, you already know this.
but if you dont have a fucking clue about what im talking about, take two minutes and watch this vid.
don’t make me say i told you so.
learn more about Google Wave, or use this forum to request an invite.
repost from the kids boards:
As a new-again mother who is both breastfeeding and supplementing my twins for almost six months, this has me absolutely irate this morning –> http://bit.ly/19oHk5 (via my friend @FeministBreeder)
Woman claims NYC Irish café threw her out for breastfeeding
Mother plans to sue Lily O’Brien’s in New York
By ANTOINETTE KELLY, IrishCentral.com Staff WriterPublished Wednesday, September 30, 2009, 11:59 AM
A woman claims she was kicked out of Lily O’Brien’s Chocolate Café for breastfeedingA woman breastfeeding her daughter claims she was thrown out of Lily O’Brien’s Irish chocolate café on Bryant Park in New York City on Tuesday, September 29.
Julia Taylor, a mother of two little girls, was breastfeeding her youngest daughter at the café, known for its delectable chocolates and coffee, when she was approached by the manager of Lily O’ Briens.
“She made it clear, I want you to leave now,” Taylor told Fox News on Tuesday night.
“She made me feel like I was doing something wrong, something dirty.”
Cathal Queally, the owner of the cafe, when a breastfeeding woman is exposed, it “leads to people feeling uncomfortable,” suggesting a nipple on display “can lead to sexual arousal.”
Queally said Taylor’s nipple was “on display for quite a period of time and in full display of male patrons.”
He said several male customers complained.
According to Taylor, the manager asked her to leave the establishment and “told me never to come back again.”
Queally said he was “more than happy for any person to come in here and breastfeed provided they are discreet,” and that includes Taylor and the friend she was having coffee with on Tuesday.
Although Queally was not present at the café during the breastfeeding, he said he was informed, “Taylor’s nipple was on display.”
Lily O’Brien’s manager denies asking Taylor to leave, saying she just asked her to cover up with a blanket.
New York state law says it’s a woman’s right to breastfeed in any public place whether or not she is covered up.
Taylor told Fox news she is planning to sue Lily O’Briens.
–
Zaida Grunes
mom to twinfants Gabriel & Stella,
who will continue to breastfeed my babies in public as long as they are hungry!
with pictures to prove it:
Manhattan’s Peak Blog
thanks to Lyana for sending this our way!
There is a kids clothing swap in Chelsea this Saturday, but you must register.
“Swap Til You Drop”
FREE CHILDREN’S CLOTHING SWAP EVENT
The makers of Green Works® are hosting the first kids-focused clothing swap event – directed by
Clothing Swap® Inc. founder Suzanne Agasi – in New York City. Josh Dorfman, host of the Sundance Channel’s,
“The Lazy Environmentalist” will also be on hand to share tips and encourage participants to swap their kids’ clothes.
SATURDAY, OCTOBER 3rd 11 a.m. to 2 p.m.
Metropolitan Pavilion – NORTH PAVILION 110 W. 19th Street, New York, NY
Advanced registration is required and event attendees must bring at least 10 articles of children’s clothing
and/or accessory (Newborn to age 12) to “swap.” These items must be in good condition, clean and stain free.
There is no limit to the number of clothes or accessories attendees may take home in exchange.
To register visit, http://clothingswap.com/kids or call (646) 935-4017.
Josh Dorfman is super famous in the “green” community. Also, Sundance will be filming the event.
Registration Link to share with NYC parents (with kids baby-12 yrs) that may be interested in this FREE very fun green event! Refresh your kid’s closets for next to nothing while experiencing the fun, fashion and philanthropy you won’t find anywhere else!
Time Magazine article Q&A with Clothing Swap Founder Suzanne Agasi
