from the inbox:
Safety Advisory: Isham Park Robberies
This morning two people were robbed as they walked through Isham Park on their way to work. Last Monday morning, a similar incident occurred. The 34th Precinct’s Commanding Officer, Deputy Inspector Andrew Capul has increased patrols in the area and asked that you please post and forward the attached safety advisory. In addition, the Parks Department will activate the Isham Park camera and post signs.
Martin Collins
Deputy Chief of Staff
Assemblymember Adriano Espaillat
210 Sherman Avenue
New York, NY 10034
tel 212-544-2278
fax 212-544-2252
34TH PRECINCT SAFETY ADVISORY
Due to recent robbery incidents in the area, the following SAFETY TIPS are provided to reduce the possibility of becoming victimized.
Several incidents have occurred in Isham Park on the pathways leading down to Broadway between the hours of 6am-7am. Perpetrators are 2 Male Hispanics 18-22 years of age, who were sitting on the railings of the paths. As the victim walked past the perpetrators, the perpetrators grabbed the victims from behind knocking them to the ground and removing the victim’s property. Residents are reminded to use caution while using the paths. If suspicious persons are seen, please call 911.
BE ALERT
1) Always BE AWARE of your surroundings especially in places you are most comfortable.
2) Be aware of who is behind you at all times. Trust your instincts. If someone makes you feel uncomfortable, go to a safe location.
3) Be on guard if you are approached by a stranger for any reason.
4) Avoid walking alone late at night. Walk in well-lit and well-populated streets.
5) If you are a victim of a crime, call 911. Try to remember as much detail such as any weapons involved, gender, ethnicity, height, weight, and direction of travel, etc.
6) Report suspicious activity or suspicious persons to the Police.
7) Reduce or eliminate opportunities that may make you a target. Prepare your daily schedule with safety in mind.
8 ) For more information on crime prevention programs, please contact the 34th Precinct Crime Prevention Officer at (212) 927-9301.
34th Precinct ● 4295 Broadway ● New York, NY ● 10033 ● 212-927-9711
On Feb 1st, Angel and his daughter saw the cops tend to a guy who was bloodied during a robbery in Isham Park. He immediately went on Twitter to tell us all what he saw, and quickly gathered a group of locals who were as furious as he is about the lack of policing in our neighborhood.
There is going to be a full story in the Manhattan Times, but you don’t need to wait that long to follow how this is developing. Angel created a twitter account called InwoodSafety (a spanish translated twitter acct will come soon as well), and if you ive up here and want to follow what people in our neighborhood are doing to make a difference, or get involved directly, you should follow/show support of this group. Read what the group is saying RIGHT NOW on the #InwoodSafety hashtag and watch your neighbors kick some ass.
if you are looking for a local community service project, this is it.
update: waiting to get more information for neighbors not on twitter but would like to participate and/or would like regular updates. stay tuned…
“I’m a dick one time, and shit, you gonna throw me off…?”
people just don’t get it. they dont get me they way you do, and granted, it’s prob because we were friends for a 11 years and you could complete my fucking sentences. but you knew me. and i didnt have to explain shit to you. when i asked you for space you gave it to me. you let me live. breathe. take some time to hibernate and think about what happened, why it happened, what could have been done differently so it didnt happen again. you loved to talk your ass off, and you hounded me like no tomorrow when things were good. but when shit hit the fan you gave me my space.
even when it took too long.
i’ve spoiled all three of our children.
first with my teenager, starting hardcore at the age 3, when my first marriage was over, and i encouraged him to sleep with me because i was lonely. plus, it felt good. completely selfish and i only did it for me. when he turned 5 i knew we had a problem when i told him he needed to sleep in his own bed. battles, screams and cries like you wouldnt believe.
so i gave in, and he slept in my bed until he was 11 years old. that is the definition of “co-sleeping.”
i always gave in to everything he wanted. to make him happy. to build his self confidence. to help him feel “empowered” by “encouraging him to make his own choices.” that’s called child-led parenting. i let him lead the way, and i was his yes woman. his weed carrier. his housemaid. no major punishments, no follow through, no laying down the law. no structure. no consistency.
we are having a lot of issues now because of the way i raised him, much to the chagrin of my exhusband. lots of I Told You So’s, and This Aint The ’70s and All That Shit Youre Letting Him Get Away With Wont Teach Him Anything. it’s hippy stuff, and you’ve raised a self centered, spoiled child, and the It’s All Your Faults.
i thought i was doing the right thing by being what they are now calling an Attachment Parent.
turns out i was dead wrong.
so this time i decided im not going to do any of the things that failed me the first time: no Crying It Out (CIO), no co-sleeping (hard to do with twins anyway), no child first crap, no actually means no yesterday/today/tomorrow… you get where im going here.
if you’ve followed me on twitter, this will be redundant. today i participated in some unhealthy debate which stems from the spoiling of my twins.
if i hadn’t taught my babies to fall asleep with the bottle in their cribs, this post wouldnt exist. it’s behavior i encouraged because im at my fucking wits end. none of us have slept in almost 10 months. my teenager is living with my aunt because he can’t get rest here and the crying and arguing has affected his grades. we are walking on eggshells, the babies arent sleeping and neither are we.
also, Stella has gained 8lbs in three months – all from the overnight feedings. because she wont sleep without a bottle. and neither does Gabriel. it’s a big problem and i need to break it asap. ive begged parents on twitter for advice. ive tried everything. like every single thing i can think of except crying it out. we’ve done brief sessions of CIO but i cant take more than 15 mins before my heart breaks.
so much for consistency.
my followers either sick of me talking about lack of sleep, or asking their families what they did so they can give advice to a sleep deprived, pathetic stranger = me.
Lisa, a twin mom and my all time favorite mom on twitter who gives the most practical, supportive, nonjudgmental advice of anyone ever, suggested cereal in the bottle when the kids were 6 mos. we did it, and they threw up. they cried. they got sick, and that was the end of that.
and here i was night after night dreading the sunset. another night of crying. them crying me crying. no end in sight.
five nights ago i asked for help again, and Diana, another twin mom who used to live here uptown, told me to try the oatmeal in the bottle. so i did. and it’s working. she saved our lives for not only encouraging us through the success of her own twins who are a month younger, but she gave me her full twin schedule, made herself completely available to me for any questions/concerns as each night passed, asked her mom and her tias and her abuelita for more advice and told me about probiotics (our next step) and basically just kicked ass in the STTN support system that i really needed doing this alone for all these months.
before cereal in the bottle, our nights looked like this:
both Gabriel and Stella down at 6:30pm then up crying at 8pm, 11pm, 1am, 3:30am, 5:30am, 8am. not always at the same time so it meant i was up and feeding them anywhere between 6-12 times a night.
that was only 6 nights ago.
after oatmeal in a bottle at our new 9:30pm bedtime (3 teaspoons to 8 oz of formula)
Day 1: Stella up 5 times, Gabriel up 4 times.
Day 2: Stella up 4 times, Gabriel up 4 times.
Day 3: Stella up 4 times, Gabriel up 3 times.
Day 4: Stella up 2 times, Gabriel up 1 time.
Day 5: Stella up 1 time, Gabriel up 1 time.
so far it’s working for us. and it’s a short term fix to a long term problem. before today i had already decided that once they get the hang of sleeping well, i will lessen the oatmeal and make the bedtime earlier. but first i need to teach them HOW to sleep for more than 3 hour clips.
tonight we will experiment with no oatmeal in the bottle at bedtime, and see if Day 6 is any different than the above. will post an update tomorrow when i have more time… for now we are off to sleep.
finally.
so, do you remember my letter to the Manhattan Times a month ago? the one where i requested 3 things to make the MT more blogger friendly?
well, they are all over it.
here’s what i asked for on our behalf:
1. Add A Share Button to online articles – we’d love to shout from the top of our keyboard any single thing we’ve read and a share button is the fastest way to do it right from our open window.
2. Include hyperlinks within online articles – bloggers and nonbloggers have had orgasms over links. no really. for instance, i know ive had a great session when after 10 clicks i forgot what the original article was. i need to make a t-shirt that says IheartHYPERlinks asap.
3. Twitter, of course. everything is happening in 140 characters. your tweet thread is THE new blog. i want to know what is going on quick, fast, & simple. then i want to retweet the shit out of it so everyone else knows too.
so big huzzah to Manhattan Times for starting a twitter feed. tell them you love them immediately via tweet. the people on their team have worked long and hard for our online community – show them your appreciation by giving them a follow –> @ManhattanTimes.
now where’s my DanBaderForCB12Chair button?
sometimes we just need to let it all go. let all the bullshit that holds us back fall by the wayside. but before then you have to deal. because if you dont deal it comes out in all sorts of dumbass ways, shit you didnt even know was related. ive learned more about myself in the last 24 hours than i have in my entire adult life. because of you. because of your comments, your emails, your stories, your kind words, your secrets. ive read and reread and each time i find something new, something to learn, something i remember, something i relate to, something ive denied or purposely blocked out.
im not ready to forgive. not even fucking close. and that’s okay, for now. im still processing. hanging about in a shocked daze that i allowed myself to be so open publicly knowing full well that someone somewhere will be critical of my admission.
but it is what it is.
i’m the same person i was yesterday, and the day before. only smarter. wiser. better prepared to manage some of the emotions that might come my way as my daughter gets older.
you came through. with your love and your support and it’s helping me heal… one note at a time.
we watched Mo’Niques acceptance speech yesterday with tears in our eyes. she dedicated her win to victims of abuse.
my stomach twisted up, and i knew immediately what i needed to do.
ive given a lot of excuses why i didnt want a girl, but the rock bottom honest truth is that i was sexually molested as a child.
there, i said it.
i remember being seven years old.
sitting on a dirty wood floor, sifting through those shiny, black 45’s. placing the needle ever so delicately on the spinning record, listening to the bumps from the dust. light shining through the window. thrilled at having the responsibility of picking what song came next as my mother got dressed to go dancing.
it was 1979, and she was 23.
i remember playing this song.
i remember feeling it was important.
i remember the response it evoked from everyone within earshot.
children remember the things you forget.
if i dont bring home a paycheck in 2010, will never be able to afford our dream classic 6 in Inwood. which means the twins will never get their own room, and i will never get to sleep again…
so, im offering ad space on the sidebar. and im going to BlogHer ‘10 this year. and i have a few small things in works… things im trying to convince my husband are brilliant ideas. like what we need to bring into that space now that Keenan’s is closed. granted, they are i love lucy ideas, but ideas none the less. and at 37 years old, i am trying to create and do the things that i finally want to do in life – things that will make a difference to me, my family and hopefully our little community as well.
2010 GOALS
i want to be able to help Ryan get into the college of his choice, even if it means he’s not living at home while getting his grades on track and spending every free second he has with a tutor. he might hate me now, but in 10 years he will thank us all.
i want to not resent my husband for working so many hours to support our family so that i dont have to work - but i miss him so much it makes me angry.
i want to open up a shop on Manhattan’s Peak Blog with fun accessories. something like this.
i want to teach people how to run their own successful babysitting co-operatives in small communities like ours.
i want finalize the Infant CPR class here in the neighborhood asap. it is critical that we know how to help our children in times of distress.
i want to find investors for a lounge we want to open in our neighborhood.
i want to go to BlogHer 2010. will tell you more about this in a future post.
i want to host more parties like the one we are having this weekend, because for me community is defined by reaching out, building relationships, service, giving back.
i want to allow myself “Me Time” without feeling guilty. i want to be able to leave the twins in someone else’s care and be okay with it. i want to feed my soul with things that make me happy, and remember that this does not mean im any less of a mother – but in fact my happiness will bring more joy to my family as a whole.
i want to post here everyday even if i have to dig in my archives to do it, and remember who i used to be, and document who i am becoming.
im not sure when i took on a thousand projects at once. in no particular order:
- twinfant sleep training FAIL
- Inwood Shines Bright! – Inky pages mentions (we <3 u Dan Bader!) WOB Win, but next year EOB will get slammed first
- sex with my husb more than once a month – FAIL
- setting up Infant CPR Class for Inwood Babysitting Co-op – Work in progress and by WIP i mean, i need to read my email from last month.
- checking my email - FAIL. i was so proud when i emptied my inbox of 500+ messages in November. now we are back up to 300+ unread and it’s all twitter’s fault.
- Twitter – For The MotherFucking Win. i can not live without twitter. there is an amazing parenting community with loads of advice, suggestions, moral support right at the end of my fingertips. it doesnt matter the time. 6am, 2pm, 6pm, 2am – someone on twitter is always awake and ready to connect. And the twitterati locals? if you really want to know what’s happening in our neighborhood, skip the blogs and start following this list which keeps growing every week.
there’s more, im sure of it. like, laundry and toilets and ironing shirts and telling my teenager he has no idea, and telling my husb the same for that matter.
but now i have to go, because i have a twin crawling on me. Gabriel learned how to stand up all by himself today and now he’s all crackhead about it – doing it over and over and spitting at me with absolute glee. and Stella has popped her fourth top tooth FINALLY!!! and maybe in a few days we will all get to bed without the usual screamfest….
one can only hope.
