a view from the passenger’s seat: brides march

Domestic violence-related deaths are down 20 percent in the past eight years in New York City. Martinez hopes walks like this help give women the courage to keep coming forward – so the numbers keep dropping.

-NY1.com

1 on 4 women. that’s the statistic. but like Rich said, that’s bullshit. it’s much more than that, right? all of the women who don’t say shit on the record. who dont want to admit that someone they love kicks their ass on a regular basis. or maybe nobody actually touched them, so they blow it off to just an argument. a long, drawn out for many years argument, with lots of screaming, yelling, name calling – slowly chipping away at your self esteem. tricking you into believing that you are not good enough when it really matters. or maybe… just maybe, it’s the person who’s been cyber-stalking you, the one that claims because you write a public diary blog you are fair game to abuse online. so much so that you just completely stop checking email because even for every 100 encouraging words, just one email from an anonymous cowards messes with your head for days.

bruises can be covered on the outside. eventually, they heal, i suppose. but how about forgetting. do you ever really forget?

how many excuses have you made for bad behavior? for abusive, controlling actions that you write off because you love someone.

the brides march has been haunting me.

how do i explain how it all appeared to me without disrespecting the survivors and the victims?

forgive me in advance, but im still reliving it in the quiet moments.

what i felt from these courageous women:
power
strength
inspiration
community

but you knew this.

what i also felt from some of the women were

resignation

there is no doubt in my mind that a few women marching were still suffering from abuse at home. perhaps meeting together they felt strong, but to only go back home to the same shit, different day? i made lots of unwarranted assumptions and wanted to shake them.  i wanted to give them everything i had so that they can just get the fuck out of their situations. but would they listen?

i was so overwhelmed by the swirling emotions i was sucking in that i stayed mostly quiet until C forced me into conversations.

domestic violence doesnt just affect the abuser, but who am i to take that away from them?  how about little kids, friends, families, co-workers who either are helpless witnesses, or the stronger ones who jump in to break it up, or the ones who sit quietly at their desk while their cube-mate puts concealer on a bruise. what do you say? how do you help? do you mind your own business. should we?

at what point do we make it our business? do we wait until someone we actually know and love is hurt before it becomes personal?

and why hasnt Gary had Amber arrested yet?

if you think women dont talk about abuse, imagine the statistics for men.

my diary page remembering the brides march will never do it all justice.

just go look at the pictures.

DNAinfo.com
NY1.com

Marketing the Park Terrace Supermarket: La Antillana becomes “Market Fresh”

we always skim through the supermarket fliers for our shopping list each week.  with a family of five to feed, sales are the only way to go.

so when i found this flyer under our door, i thought a new place had opened.

wait. it’s on broadway? wasn’t that launched as the La Antillana a few months back? so i checked with my friends on twitter and they confirmed,

there are 3 Antillana supermarkets. one in Park Terrace, one on 207th and one on Nagle.

so, why is the Park Terrace flyer called “Market Fresh” and have absolutely no mention what so ever of “La Antillana?”

interesting way of rebranding a familar neighborhood chain to something more… downtown friendly.

Off With the HooterHiders!

repost from the kids boards:

As a new-again mother who is both breastfeeding and supplementing my twins for almost six months, this has me absolutely irate this morning –> http://bit.ly/19oHk5 (via my friend @FeministBreeder)

Woman claims NYC Irish café threw her out for breastfeeding

Mother plans to sue Lily O’Brien’s in New York

By ANTOINETTE KELLY, IrishCentral.com Staff Writer

Published Wednesday, September 30, 2009, 11:59 AM

A woman claims she was kicked out of Lily O’Brien’s Chocolate Café for breastfeeding

A woman breastfeeding her daughter claims she was thrown out of Lily O’Brien’s Irish chocolate café on Bryant Park in New York City on Tuesday, September 29.

Julia Taylor, a mother of two little girls, was breastfeeding her youngest daughter at the café, known for its delectable chocolates and coffee, when she was approached by the manager of Lily O’ Briens.

“She made it clear, I want you to leave now,” Taylor told Fox News on Tuesday night.

“She made me feel like I was doing something wrong, something dirty.”

Cathal Queally, the owner of the cafe, when a breastfeeding woman is exposed, it “leads to people feeling uncomfortable,” suggesting a nipple on display “can lead to sexual arousal.”

Queally said Taylor’s nipple was “on display for quite a period of time and in full display of male patrons.”

He said several male customers complained.

According to Taylor, the manager asked her to leave the establishment and “told me never to come back again.”

Queally said he was “more than happy for any person to come in here and breastfeed provided they are discreet,” and that includes Taylor and the friend she was having coffee with on Tuesday.

Although Queally was not present at the café during the breastfeeding, he said he was informed, “Taylor’s nipple was on display.”

Lily O’Brien’s manager denies asking Taylor to leave, saying she just asked her to cover up with a blanket.

New York state law says it’s a woman’s right to breastfeed in any public place whether or not she is covered up.

Taylor told Fox news she is planning to sue Lily O’Briens.

–
Zaida Grunes
mom to twinfants Gabriel & Stella,
who will continue to breastfeed my babies in public as long as they are hungry!
with pictures to prove it:
Manhattan’s Peak Blog

34th’s Blind Eye Syndrome Doesn’t Apply to Dog Owners

gotta love the 34th.  they’ll let dead bodies rot for days without blinking an eye, but have no problem showing up to ticket a local woman for walking across the baseball fields during a snowstorm!  did you see the response time on that one? maybe when there’s a real emergency we should just say a white chick has a dog and umm oh yea i think there’s a crime being committed right next to her – RUN RUN HURRY HURRY!!

so, quick question – since when is a Park Ranger a “Law Official?”

i thought they were in charge of just walking around randomly on the lawns.

they should be called Lawn Officials.

got a true story that you’d like cartooned? email your experience to Amanda and get on her list here.

blowing up spots

dont live here. seaman ave.

the landlords in this neighborhood have cojones the size of bowling balls, im telling you. my son’s grandmother (my ex-mother in law of the now famous Grandma Network) has been dealing with this bedbug issue in her building for months.  she has never had them, they even had that bedbug sniffing dog come into her place to triple check, but every apartment around her has the little buggers.  apparently the first case happened last november, but the greedy bastard landlord of hers failed to tell any of the other tenants until January when the infestation was completely out of control.

going postal: you aren’t alone

so, it’s not just us that dreads our local post office.

check out:

Inwood Post Office – Chamber of Doom and Confusion

Valet parking on dyckman!?

had to leave the ‘hood friday night and cabbed it back home. We came up the west side and made the left then right on to dyckman. As the cab drove past mamajuanas I saw a big sign in the gutter that said

valet parking RUSH

rush? Valet parking? In the hood? For real? Then I saw the guy in a monkeysuit taking keys.

wait a minute.

Isn’t there a garage right across the street? Actually,there are TWO garages across the street and ONE garage right around the corner on henshaw. Plus, there is tons of free parking all the way down to the marina.

Why would someone need to rush valet? What could be sooo pressing in there, hmmm?

tubby hook cafe much?

File under: shutdafuckup, inwood’s blind eye syndrome

please pardon typos, email sent via mobile

dear parks department,

thanks so much for allowing us to change our wedding date and venue from the peninsula to the indian road lawn.  im glad you understand that when we initially planned our ceremony, lover's lane was the perfect, peaceful spot for a quiet commitment ceremony amongst friends.  and now that it is a bbq pit and shithole, you can see why it was imperative to change our venue prior to the sending of our invites.

speaking of invitations, our ceremony is about five weeks away and we've decided to wait until we have the permit in hand prior to our mailing.  major thanks for sending it today.  we are anxiously waiting it's arrival.

best,
zaida & daniel 

"An open letter regarding gang-related muggings and assaults in Inwood"

BRAVO TO ROSE FOX!! I have left all the email addresses below so that my readers can forward their own open letters as well.

———- Forwarded message ———-
From: Rose Fox
Date: Tue, Jul 15, 2008 at 11:07 PM
Subject: An open letter regarding gang-related muggings and assaults in Inwood
To: rangel@mail.house.gov, jackson@council.nyc.ny.us, schneide@senate.state.ny.us, “Smith, Ebenezer” <ebsmith@cb.nyc.gov>, cb12manhattan@cb.nyc.gov
Cc: inwoodhillneighbors@yahoogroups.com, Inwood Group <inwood_community@yahoogroups.com>, inwoodite@gmail.com, manhattantimes@aol.com, Zaida <manhattanspeak@gmail.com>

Dear Congressman Rangel, State Senator Schneiderman, Councilmember Jackson, and Community Board 12 members:

At 2 a.m. this past Saturday, my husband was attacked by two white-shirted teenage boys while walking on the part of Park Terrace West that winds through Isham Park. One hit him on the head with a bat (fortunately not injuring him severely) and the other tackled him and demanded money. When he shouted for help, they fled. Two police officers responded quickly to his 911 call; as they drove us around the neighborhood in search of the attackers, they told us that such attacks are common in the park late at night. We were quite shocked, as we think of Inwood as a safe, pleasant neighborhood full of friendly people.

A few days later, a fellow member of one of the many Inwood mailing lists wrote to say that he had been attacked in the same part of the park, also by teenage boys in white shirts, late at night on July 4th. Several people immediately responded, saying that they had seen people in the park late at night who match the description of the attackers. Two people whose apartments overlook Inwood Hill Park reported seeing a gang of as many as 30 teens in white shirts, many armed with bats, sticks, and pipes, fighting other gangs in the park or going out into the neighborhood in pairs looking for trouble. Another woman said two white-shirted teens armed with sticks approached her at the edge of the park and she had to run into her apartment building to avoid them. These are clearly not isolated incidents.

When I called the 34th Precinct today to follow up on my husband’s case, four days after the attack, I was told no report had been filed, even though he stated willingness to try to identify his assailants from photos or in a line-up and to prosecute if they were caught. One list member said that when her neighbor was mugged, the police officers he spoke with initially refused to file a report; another said 311 calls seemed to be more effective than calls directly to the precinct. This is extremely troubling. The police need to be working to fix this serious problem of violent crime, not discouraging victims from reporting it.

As one of your constituents, I respectfully request that you encourage the 34th Precinct to increase patrols of Isham Park and Inwood Hill Park in the early morning hours, to take reports seriously when they are filed, and to investigate this gang of teens, many of whom are probably in need of serious help. If you asked the members of the community to help keep the neighborhood safe, I have no doubt that many would volunteer. All we ask is the same commitment from the police whose job it is to aid and protect everyone in Inwood, including the troubled adolescents who are committing these crimes.

I look forward to your replies, which I will share with the Inwood Hill Neighbors and Inwood Group mailing lists, the Inwood LiveJournal community, the Washington Heights & Inwood Online message board, the maintainers of the Inwoodite and Manhattan’s Peak blogs, and the Manhattan Times (all cc’d on this letter). I don’t speak for anyone but myself, but I believe that a great many of your other constituents are watching this issue with interest and concern, and I hope you will give it your closest attention.

Sincerely,
Rose Fox

Muggings in Isham Park

two members of inwoodhillneighbors report muggings while walking in Isham Park. details here.

VERY SCARY!!

if you have seen anything suspicious, please call 911 and read the boards. neighbors helping neighbors is critical to safety of the community.