On Free-Ranging Our Inwood Kids

nataliedee.com

I’m reading a live on-line chat over at London’s TimesOnline with Free-Range Parent Lenore Skenazy.  This quote struck me:

One woman wrote to my blog, “So on that ‘Park’ day, if your son falls off the slide and hurts his arm, you expect ME to help him?” Uh, yes. I sure do. Same as I’d help YOUR son. The idea that this is a huge impositiion or a crazy idea is very new and disturbing. “Park” day was a day to knit us back together.

Our family commitment to this community is that we would drop everything for your children the way we do our own.  Sometimes when reading the Inwood Kids forums, I wonder how many more around here would do the same.  How do we help change that? Leading by example? Being less judgmental of each other’s parenting? Squashing the very obvious mommy cliques in our community?

Something to chew on.

Well… you also won’t see us behind our kids in the park or the playgrounds like a Casper The Friendly Ghost shadow.  We gave our teenager the confidence to know what’s right & wrong, and how to find help when he needs it (Nature Center) and we plan to do the same with the twins as they go from toddlers to big kids.  And while we love to see parents hula hoop with their kids, we hope that you do it out of fun, and not just to hover.  Again, obviously your call, but should there be a scraped knee or two, just know that there are always a slew of adults ready to sweep in to make sure your kids snots are wiped, and lead him back your way…

Relevant (good) reads:

Robert Ebert’s Journal: Raising free-range kids

“Remember when…we dressed up neat to go to school? When there were no drugs? No drive-bys? When a neighbor felt free to whoop you if you did wrong, and if your parents found out about it, they’d whoop you again? When there were no serial rapists? No kidnappings? When we got to play outside until the streetlights came on?”

Remember when.

…

So much is simply chance. You can’t plan for bad luck. You can’t pass laws against it. You can’t be innoculated for it. You can’t wear protective clothing. Forrest Gump inspired the bumper sticker, Shit happens.Mankind knew that before we developed speech.

Study: Fewer Cars on the Street = Healthier Kids over at Streetsblog.

Children living within 150 meters of high-traffic areas were found to have, on average, BMIs five percent higher than those living near low-traffic areas. Only the immediate surroundings seem to matter: Traffic levels within 300 or 500 meters didn’t affect BMI.

The researchers put forward two explanations for why high traffic contributes to obesity. The first is that real or perceived danger from cars reduces walking and biking. The other is that too much traffic contributes to high asthma rates, which make physical activity more difficult and less frequent.

Our community, and specifically our little neighborhood, with all this park land that is essentially our backyard, is the BEST place in Manhattan to raise Free-Range kids.

Let them live, yo.

Head on back to Manhattan's Peak

the chiclets are here, so back to my old blog.

join me there for baby updates and the rest of it…

http://manhattanspeak.wordpress.com

xoxox
z

37 weeks, and counting

right now im going through the “im addicted to facebook” phase.  im sure it will pass, but you happen to have a FB account, i post pregnancy updates far more often there than i do here.  some diarist, right?  i know.  if you are on facebook and want to add me – go right ahead! real names only, please.  i’ve had some strange stalkers with fake cartoony names try to friend me up, and i’ve declined them.

so, today was a phenomenal day!  we had our weekly ultrasound – and this one was a growth scan.  here are the stats:

baby A – 5lbs 7oz, 25th percentile.

baby B – 6lbs 7oz, 55th percentile.

baby B went from just a few oz’s higher to a half pound bigger to now a full pound larger than baby A.  this is obviously something the doctors want to watch very seriously since it could mean that the placenta and/or the umbilical cord for baby A is not doing its job.  for now, we are still in the clear until next week when we go back to the main hospital at 168th street.   here is a home vid of us celebrating right outside Allen Pavilion just a few minutes after we received the good news that we can keep them in just a little while longer.

35w0d daniel's vlog

im running to a sonogram at Allen in a few, and completely forgot to post daniel’s vlog from Monday.  it’s just us being silly and playing with the dogs, as usual.  ive accused him of always looking miserable whenever we vlog, and i know it’s just that i have a tendency to have bad timing when i record.   you’ll hear me bitching at him to stop cursing since we all know kids will repeat *every*single*thing* they hear around them. that’s all we’ll need:  two little monsters telling everyone to fuck off.

i’ll post this week and last week’s baby weights when we get back. they weren’t doing so well in percentages according to last friday’s sono, but it’s my fault for sleeping too much and not eating enough.  must stay on top of the proteins!!

The Approval Process

file under:  bedroom talk.

are you proud of me?

For what?

are you PROUD of me?

That you went to CT and hung out with my friends when you are contracting? That you washed the dishes even though your back is killing you?  That we didn’t fight for two days?

we dont fight – we bicker.  we’ve only had what?  less than 10 real fights in two years…

Fine, “bicker.”

BUT ARE YOU PROUD OF ME?

(laughing)

:: death glare ::

Oh, you mean am I proud that you finally talked to my mother after all this time?  Without an argument or attitude?

yes.

I am more happy than proud.  But yes, I am proud.

well, thank you.  that really means a lot to me.

see, here’s the thing:  i realize most wives dont get along with their MILs.  but her not talking to me or my fam our entire wedding day hurt me so much, i cried my entire honeymoon.  then being the stubborn mule i am, i swore i would never talk to her again until she apologized.  what im learning is that you can not change people, you can only change yourself.  that you can not force people to be who they arent, and the fact of the matter is, she will probably never apologize – and i need to accept that.  at the end of the day, the only people who will suffer from the tension is our twins, and they shouldnt be caught in the mix of their parents bullshit.

i’ve finally accepted that our kids having a real relationship with daniel’s parents is infinitely more important than my mile-high pride.

i’m officially 35 weeks preggers today, and im finally getting my shit together.  just more proof that we are never too old to learn.

and that these insane & fluctuating hormones can sometimes be a good thing.

motherly smothering

i cant believe im 3rd trimester on monday…

I know.

are you freaking out yet?

(blank stare)

i want to keep them in.

You don’t want to share them?  They *are* half mine, you know.

no, i want them all to myself!!!  i want to keep them inside me forever!!!

im getting possessive.  i want to keep our secrets.  i want only me and them to know when baby A is awake or when baby B is dancing to music.  i want to be the only one who feels every single movement, the only one who knows what they are doing or when they are sleeping, or when they are hungry, or when they are not happy being squished because i keep trying to lay on my stomach when im typing a post.

like right now.

24 – we're ready for more

it’s new years eve, 2008.  wow.  what a year.

we found our dream apt and plotted our move up 4 flights

after five tries, we set our wedding date

we moved on up, and decided it was time to pull the trusty IUD and get things popping

the itty-bitties

here’s the update on the level 2 ultrasound, part deux:  all we know so far is that both the chiclets are measuring small.  we wont get details until the reports are sent to my obgyn, and he has had a chance to review them.  from what i’ve read, the twins might be small for several reasons -

1. my original estimated due date is wrong, and i actually got knocked up 6 weeks before the wedding instead of the of 8 weeks before the wedding which was the first day of my last cycle.  (um, we were *kinda* excited during the planning.  what can we say?)  this would mean that we conceived in august instead of july as we originally thought.

2. there is something physically wrong, with either me or the placentas or the cords, or the kids themselves.  until we get the reports back, we won’t put any energy into this because there’s only so much we can do with the information anyway.

the gift that keeps on kicking

there are few milestones during pregnancy that you really want to remember – one of them is feeling your babies kick for the first time.

a few nights ago while i was washing dishes, i felt what i thought was a contraction.   as ryan was walking into the kitchen to ask a question that i was probably going to say no to, i winced in pain.

mom, are you alright?

OWW.

you okay?

feel here.

aw c’mon.  do i have to?

FEEL HERE!

and just at that moment, baby A kicked out into his palm.

he stared at me and i stared at him and it all became incredibly real for both of us.

get daniel! get daniel!!!

but by the time daniel got to the kitchen, the kickfest was over.

each day after, my beloved moped and sulked around the house.

babe dont worry, in three weeks these kids wont stop moving, i tried to reassure him.

it didnt matter.  every time he passed me he put his hands on my belly, like a minister trying to heal the sick, waiting for that moment where god will prove there *is* life in that huge abdomen of mine.

so last night, after we celebrated Daniel’s birthday, as he snuggled up in bed, i went over to kiss him goodnight. i bent over and leaned the chiclets into his hands.  it now became habit, one i’d grown to love.

did you feel that??

I think so!

how about that one??

I’m not sure what’s your stomach and what’s the babies.

honey it’s ALL babies!!

I just felt my babies kick for the first time on my birthday?

thank you, chiclets, for giving papa the most wonderful birthday gift of all.

your timing was perfect.

eat with your eyes, not with your stomach

my husband does all the cooking in our house.  often, i wont even go into the kitchen unless im hungry enough to eat my arm off, or he’s home. it’s our deal:  i clean toilets, he does the cooking.

daniel, im famished!  i need to eat RIGHT NOW.

What do you want me to make you?

guacamole, fresh chicken salad with raisins and apples, rice & beans, and… vanilla pudding.

Umm, well… which one do you want first?

whatever’s fastest.

Pudding it is!

we don’t have pudding.

Supermarket it is!

(later)

i love these single serve packets!!!!

I need a half a cup of milk.

that’s it?  it only makes a half a cup?  but i want half a gallon of pudding!!!  fine, portion control is good.

(6 minutes later)

OMG i love pudding!  who knew how much i love pudding?

ummm, i think im full.

You only ate half of it.

im saving the rest for later.

So should I start cooking the rest now, or wait until you’re ready?

now. you never know when hunger will strike.